Introduction:

Words matter.  In Elementary School, I was taught that the opposite of love is hate.  It was one of those early life lessons wrapped up in a discussion about synonyms and antonyms.  A teaching that must have stuck (considering I spent most of my life believing this simple concept).  The reality is that it took me almost 30 years to see that the opposite of love is something far more complex.

The change in my thinking came through two phrases found in 1 John 4:  

1) Perfect Love casts out fear.  

2) Whoever fears has not been made perfect in Love.  

Notice that neither of these phrases uses the word hate.  Is it possible that hate is rooted in fear?  And is it possible that fear is the worst form of self-protection?

Who among us hasn’t been afraid?  I come from a broken home.  Imagine the fear that came with me when I was married nearly 30 years ago.  A fear that manifested itself in jealousy, anger, irritability, etc.  We don’t overcome these things by simply removing the manifestations.  Only perfect love can drive out fear.

Take this same lesson and apply it to 1 Corinthians 13.  If the opposite of love is fear, then it probably looks something like this:

Fear is impatient and unkind; fear is envious and boastful; it is arrogant and rude.  Fear always insists on control; it is easily irritated and keeps a list of wrongs.  Fear rejoices at the wrongdoings of others because it creates a false sense of self-righteousness, but it will not entertain the truth.  Fear will not believe the best, it has no hope, and it will not endure.  Fear will look for the easy way out.

Love, on the other hand, that’s a totally different story.  May it be our story.